We are harder on ourselves than we are on anyone else. ― Anne Burton
My dog, Sassy, has separation anxiety. Unlike my previous Chin, she is very vocal. So we didn’t think much of it when she barked and whined when we went out until I decided to record a video one day. I was shocked to realise that she didn’t stop howling and crying all the time until we got back. Thus, I’ve decided to enlist the help of a dog behaviourist recommended by my veterinarian. However, I soon realised that rehabilitating my dog is just as much about training her as training myself.
A significant part of working with her is teaching her to sit and wait in various situations. Since dogs focus on the finest details, one wrong movement will let her break the stay.
Now, what does this have to do with silencing my inner critic?
The dog behaviourist noticed that every time Sassy stood up, I reprimanded her a bit too severely, thereby transferring my anxiety to her.
I know I have this tendency. When I make a mistake, I always have this reaction—feeling as if I’m in trouble, berating myself and overreacting to it. My inner critic is rising, my eternal accuser!
I realised I must learn to control this reaction to work with Sassy and help her achieve our goals. During our session, the behaviourist pointed it out every time it happened. It was beneficial because when I did her exercises, it made me more conscious of this reaction.
It took me a while, but eventually, I managed to control this reaction, using more appropriate techniques to put her back in position and continue the exercise – leading to remarkable progress. I think it was easier to overcome because my reaction affected someone else.
However, I can transfer this to other areas of my life. I can make a mind shift that a mistake is not a big deal, and I don’t have to act so severely. With time and conscious effort, I can become more relaxed and deal with mistakes more appropriately—correct, apologise, learn from them—depending on the situation.
Although perfectionism is a personality trait, and your inner critic may still rise occasionally – through hard work, you should be able to (mostly) silence that inner critic!
Are you too hard on yourself? Did you find a way to deal with your inner critic?
Quiet Words that Linger.
If this reflection resonated, you’re warmly invited to explore my Silent Courage course collection, offering practical and reflective support for introverts and people with hearing loss navigating life, communication, and connection at their own pace. Browse the available courses here.
Leave a Reply