Navigating the Emotional Toll of Pet Therapy: Tips for Sensitive Souls Like Us

“Pets are humanising. They remind us we have an obligation and responsibility to preserve and nurture and care for all life.” – James Cromwell

Lively, bold, clever, and curious. My Japanese Chin dog, Sassy, lives up to her name. But under that sassy veneer hides a sensitive soul. She can be very vocal, so we never thought much about it when she barks and whines when we left her alone.

It was such a shock when I took a video of her while alone and realised that she never stopped pacing, barking, whining and howling all the time while we were away. My lovely little Sassy has separation anxiety!

My veterinarian recommended a behavioural therapist – Natacha – and that started a scary, crazy, emotional, and exhausting rapid river therapy ride!

As a sensitive introvert, I am finely tuned into my emotions and experience them very intensely, and Sassy’s distress tugged severely on my heartstrings. The last six months took a huge emotional toll on me.

It is well-known that dogs are highly susceptible to our emotions. So, it stands to reason that you have to work on controlling your emotions so that you don’t transfer your anxiety and distress onto them.

We are now entering the last and even more intense stage of her therapy, and I will need all the lessons learnt so far to conclude this therapy journey successfully.

Join me in Navigating the Emotional Toll of Pet Therapy: Tips for Sensitive Souls Like Us.

1 The Responsibility of Caring

I’ve always been very ethical, taking my responsibilities very seriously. I don’t decide to get a dog lightly and accept responsibility for their care without the option to get rid of them when challenges arise.

I always do intensive research to ensure that the dog will fit into our lifestyle and that we can manage all aspects of their care. Financial considerations regarding their food, grooming and medical care, exercise needs, and if I decide to groom them if I can acquire the necessary skills to groom them correctly.

Although many physical conditions are typical of particular breeds, you can’t predict any psychological issues.

When I discovered that Sassy has separation anxiety, I knew that besides the financial cost of her therapy, I would also have to delve deep into myself to find the inner strength and grit I would need for the emotional toll of this therapy ride.

2 Lessons from Sassy

Sassy is different in all aspects from my previous dog, Pixie. When we fetched her, she walked into my heart with her dainty little feet and settled there to stay. She has quickly shown that she has a mind of her own and that raising her will be a fun ride.

I’ve learnt from Sassy to live life with abandon. When she gets the zoomies, she runs fearlessly without regard for anything in her way. She is quick to speak her mind in her Sassy language when she wants something, doesn’t like something, or wants your attention.

But what I admire most about Sassy is her willingness to try and learn, unconditional love, and silent courage. It doesn’t matter how scared she gets and how hard we push her. She always comes back to us with a smile and a wagging tail – looking for love (and more treats, of course!)

3 Mindful Self-Care and Growth as a Caregiver

As the therapy progresses and gets more intense, the emotional toll also increases. Not only during the actual exercise – but like compound interest – the emotional burden of the past makes the emotional challenges in the present harder to bear.

The only way I could cope with Sassy’s therapy was to take care of myself. I found joy in the small victories and breakthroughs. I focused on the happy moments of abandoned play and became mindful of her presence, feel, and breathing when she slept on my lap.

Often, after a very challenging session, I will escape in a good book. It also helps to talk to my support network. The ladies in my cell group said many prayers for Sassy and held me when I cried. My older sister patiently listened as I poured my heart out, and everyone in the Chin group felt my pain and heartache.

A valuable lesson I’ve learnt from Natacha is to break down the barriers between right and wrong. Often, she will ask me a question, and when I answer, she will tell me: ‘It is OK; there is no right or wrong.’ In essence, it is what it is, I need the information for better understanding, I am not judging you.’

Or I’ll get upset when I expect Sassy to enter the crate, but she only goes halfway. Then Natacha always gives me a fresh perspective. Halfway in is good; it is progress. She made me realise I must be kinder to myself and Sassy and set more realistic expectations.

4 Finding Joy in the Journey

Working with Sassy and her separation anxiety was a journey of self-discovery. I’ve discovered the deep love and bond you can form with a pet – a bond that makes you willing to do whatever to help the dog you love dearly.

As I have written in a previous article, Triumph! How Dog Training (mostly) Silenced My Inner Critic while working with Sassy – Natacha noticed how I quickly criticised myself when I made a mistake. Through this awareness, with time, I managed to stop this instinctive reaction because it negatively affected Sassy. I realised that in the same way, I can deal with my inner critic by being kind to myself and giving myself grace.

I’ve also learned the value of journaling. Writing my feelings down on paper is an excellent way to deal with intense emotions. It lifts a bit of that heaviness off your heart and helps you to view them more objectively. They appear less scary and more manageable when you see them on paper.

Never forget the cleansing effect and release of a good crying session and the value of a heartfelt prayer. I have many times laid my hands on Sassy and cried out to my Father to help me with her therapy for complete healing. My faith gave me the strength to carry on when the going got tough.

5 Building Bonds Through Consistent Care and Play

With the challenges and toll of therapy, routines are crucial. It creates a structure of safety and security for both me and Sassy. The everyday rituals build strong bonds and trust between each other.

Because of her separation anxiety, I love and appreciate her even more. It taught me sometimes to stop what I do and watch her while she eats or plays. I take more photos and videos, building a collection of memories. I’m sure one day, I will look back at this challenging time and find it hard to believe how well she managed to survive and thrive.

6 Trusting the Unspoken Language of Our Dogs

Before starting therapy, Natascha taught us more about dogs and how they think and communicate. There was so much we didn’t know.

Spatial Awareness

We look at our property and see a house on a piece of ground. A dog’s sense of space is entirely different. For them, every room is like a separate property. Thus, if they master a command like stay in the lounge, they won’t be able to perform that same command in the living room. You must practice it with them in different areas, and only once they master that command in three different rooms can they transfer and apply it to other locations.

Sense of Time

A dog also has a different perception of time.

Have you ever wondered how a dog knows precisely when you are coming home after work? They read time according to the sun’s position and how it affects light and shadows.

What is critical in therapy is to realise that ten minutes for us may be like an hour for a dog. If we leave them for an entire workday (eight to nine hours), it feels like two days to them. Thus, you measure the progress of dogs during therapy in seconds. Every second is a win!

Body language

A critical part of learning doggy speak is knowing their body language. Natacha gave us a picture chart to show how dogs express their emotions through different postures and the movement of their ears and tails. There were some surprises! Specific postures didn’t mean what we thought before.

7 The Intersection of Introversion and Pet Care

An animal behaviourist works just as much with the dog owner as with the dog. It makes therapy sessions challenging for introverts, who must be able to connect and trust their dog’s therapist.

Therapy sessions are daunting, emotional, and overwhelming because they contain a lot of information. Experiencing the exercises with the behaviourist and realising you must do these exercises with your dog is scary. It is so easy to doubt your ability and try to avoid the emotional impact. Thus, an empathetic behaviourist who cares just as much about you and your dog is essential. After all, you and your dog must work as a team to make therapy successful.

It is challenging the first time you try a new exercise, and the results are often not as good as during the demonstration. It is easy to panic, and I had many pep talks over the phone with Natacha to encourage me, run me through the process again, and ensure I understood everything.

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The Healing Power of Pets

There are many statistics about the health benefits of pets. But this therapy experience with Sassy taught me that working so close and intensely with a dog and their therapist was just as therapeutic for me as it was for Sassy.

I have discovered so much about myself. I realised that I am strong and resilient and capable of much more than I ever realised. Connecting to Sassy and seeing how she trusts me enough to obey my commands is beautiful.

The most significant benefit from this rapid river ride is that I’ve learned to tune in and recognise my emotions, but I also knew I didn’t have to give in to them. During those therapy moments, deep breathing and the faith Natacha showed in me carried me through, even when I did the exercises alone with Sassy.

I’ve realised I must feel my emotions but not allow them to overwhelm me or become my identity. This therapy journey with Sassy has forged a bond between us that I will never have with another dog!

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