Understanding Joy – It’s More Than Just Happiness

“Happiness depends on what happens; joy does not.” —Oswald Chambers

What does happiness really mean—and why does it fade so quickly?
We live in a world that constantly tells us to chase happiness, yet the joy we long for often feels out of reach. In this piece, I want to reflect on the difference between fleeting happiness and lasting joy, and how gratitude, mindfulness, and purpose can transform the way we experience life.

1. The Temporary Nature of Happiness

“It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.” —Lucille Ball

Unlike joy, happiness is a fleeting feeling dependent on external factors. Although you experience happiness during significant events like getting married, getting a job, getting your driver’s licence, etc., it doesn’t necessarily mean you will find joy in your marriage or job or enjoy driving.

Buying new clothes, a new car, or something you want brings only fleeting happiness. Soon, the excitement dies, leaving you feeling empty. Ads continually promote that your next purchase will bring you lasting joy, feeding into this never-ending cycle and creating continuous dissatisfaction.

This chase for more and better things increases this empty feeling because it can’t fulfil our most profound need for connection, purpose and meaning. Temporary highs become addictive because of immediate gratification, and they divert our focus from being grateful for the simple things in life, which is an ongoing source of joy.

2. Joy and Gratitude

“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.”

—Marianne Williamson

Joy is more a state of mind, and external circumstances don’t affect it like happiness. We find joy when we are grateful for the things that give our lives meaning, like our relationships, the fulfilment of engaging in creative activities, the glow of health after an exercise session, or reaching personal goals of growth and self-development.

The Bible teaches us that God is the source of our joy, as seen in the Scriptures below.

Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength” – Nehemiah 8:10b NIV

• Joy:  chedvah (Hebrew) – to rejoice or to make glad
• Strength: Ma`owz (Hebrew) – refers to a refuge, stronghold, and a place of safety and protection.

This Scripture tells us that God is rejoicing over us and wants to be a place of safety and protection for us. Thus, we see that when we live in a relationship with God, He will give us His eternal joy.

The name of the Lord is a strong tower; The righteous runs into it and is safe. – Proverbs 18:10 NIV

This joy is the source of our inner strength and resilience that keeps us going despite challenges. When you let go of your troubles and give them to God, you will experience peace that defies all logic and enables you to live your life without continuously fretting and worrying about your challenges.

Don’t get caught on a rollercoaster ride of searching and acquiring things. The emotional letdown when the excitement dies will leave you disappointed, with an intense longing for meaning and purpose.

The things that spark joy for me during challenging times are relationships and the things that give purpose to my life. I love spending time with my sister. She is a good listener and gives me a new perspective on my struggles. We both love writing and enjoy exchanging ideas and motivating each other.

A South African braai with my husband is a wonderful way for me to destress. Spending time together around the fire and later enjoying the smell of the meat cooking is a terrific way to unwind. Since it is relaxing, it is also our best talking time, deepening our bond.

Although you may be happy in your work(or not), no job is perfect, and we all face our share of frustrations. Then, writing my book gives me a renewed sense of purpose. Not only because it is something I enjoy but also because I hope that it will be helpful to others once it’s published.

3. Mindset and Mindfulness

“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.” ― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People.

3.1 Develop a positive mindset

We’ve seen in the previous point that God is the ultimate source of joy. Still, there are practical things that complement our faith, which we can do to cultivate joy in our lives.

Your mindset determines how you view life. If you have a positive attitude, it won’t make you blind to hardship and bad things in life. However, your focus will be on the positive, actively seeking it daily wherever you go. The simple things you are grateful for daily will become a golden thread running through your days, establishing a joyful state of mind. God made us social beings; thus, we enjoy spending time with the people we care about and building meaningful relationships.

3.2 Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness means to be fully present in the moment. It uses the senses for a fuller and more complete experience. When you are mindful, you tune out distractions and focus only on this particular moment.

Here is a simple exercise for you to try.

When you come home after a stressful day, make yourself your favourite drink and find a quiet spot in your garden. Find a comfortable position and take a few deep breaths until you calm down. Now, tune into your senses.

• Listen – do you hear the birds singing, dogs barking or children playing in the neighbourhood?
• Look – look around you and find a beautiful flower near you. Study it closely and see the perfect symmetry of its petals, the shades and colours of the flower and its leaves.
• Feel – take your shoes off and feel the grass tickling your feet.
• Smell – deeply inhale the scent of your coffee or tea and all the scents from your garden.
• Breathe – breathe in and enjoy the fresh air in your lungs.
• Taste – take small sips, focus on the flavour of your drink, and enjoy every mouthful.

Mindfulness enables you to find joy in the small things in life, and you will find more things to be grateful for.

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Now that you understand the difference between joy – a sustaining force in your life – and happiness, take the time to build joy-generating activities into your daily life. Habit-stacking – linking a new habit to an old one – is a perfect way to start gratitude and mindfulness practices. Try the mindfulness exercise in this chapter after work, or start with a gratitude journal, writing down three things you are grateful for while enjoying your last cup of coffee or tea before bed. Incorporating these activities in your life will lead to inner peace and calmness, replacing your negative thoughts with positive ones, and you will soon find joy as a golden thread running through your life.

As you incorporate these practices into your daily life, you will experience a positive outlook because of your shift to gratitude. You will find that joy comes from the purpose and fulfilment of life’s simple moments. Tonight, before you fall asleep, take a few moments to reflect on your sources of joy.

Remember, joy is not an elusive thing. As you take your first steps at mindfulness and gratitude, you invite joy to be a lasting presence in your life journey!

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Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.comThe “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

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