Exploring the Connection: Key Questions Answered About Introversion and Hearing Loss
Welcome to 4 Questions & 4 Insights #8, where we explore four questions about hearing loss, introversion, and everyday communication.
1 What Strategies Can Introverts Use to Communicate More Effectively in Social Situations?
2 What Are the Best Techniques for Communicating With Someone With Hearing Loss?
3 How Does Constant Overstimulation Affect Introverts Emotionally?
4 How Does Hearing Loss Impact a Person’s Emotional Well-Being in Conversations?
1 What Strategies Can Introverts Use to Communicate More Effectively in Social Situations?
Effective communication begins by taking care of myself. I follow a two-prong approach. I regularly set aside time to recharge through reading and listening to music. Just as important, I selectively choose events I will attend to manage my social energy. Only then can I apply communication strategies optimally.
Many people consider Fake it ’till you make it! good advice, but not for introverts. Trying to communicate like an extrovert is exhausting and unsustainable. It will affect your credibility because people will sense you are not authentic.
Your reflective communication skills make you an engaging conversationalist. Reflective communication uses three simple steps.
Listen. Process. Respond.
Mindfulness is a crucial element of active listening. You maintain eye contact and focus entirely on the conversation.
- What do you hear them saying?
- What do you see? Watch their body language, facial expression, and gestures.
- What emotion do you sense?
DO NOT let your mind wander or think about your response now. It requires patience to listen with complete focus and without interruption.
Active listening involves listening without judgment. You don’t offer advice unless specifically requested. It lets the other person feel safe with you. When you show empathy and acceptance, it leads to positive engagement. People will feel respected and valued.
Once a person has finished speaking, you can repeat or summarise what they’ve said to ensure you understood them correctly. If you are unsure, ask them to rephrase for better understanding.
Introverts listen not only with their ears, but also with their hearts. Picking up on the underlying emotions enables you to offer support through a simple touch or sit silently with them. Never underestimate the power of silence!
Use the power of the pause to buy time to formulate your response. Say: “That is such an interesting perspective. Can I have a moment to think about it?”
It is a good idea to have some questions ready, like:
- How long have you been living in this area?
- What attractions do you know about for weekend outings?
- What good book/movie did you enjoy recently?
Asking about family is always a winner. And asking more questions about what they’ve said is an easy way to keep the conversation going with minimal input from you.
People love it when you show interest and listen to them. It strengthens the relationship when they feel heard. Understanding someone’s strengths and weaknesses is also useful when conflicts arise.
2 What Are the Best Techniques for Communicating With Someone With Hearing Loss?
Listening doesn’t come naturally for me. I need to switch to listening mode, which requires intense focus. Just because I am in your presence doesn’t mean I hear you or comprehend what you are saying.
The principles below help me enjoy conversations more and can also help you communicate better with others.
Help Me Feel Grounded in the Conversation
I have a coworker who never gets my attention before speaking. It makes me feel lost and small. When I realise he is talking to me, I have already missed too much. So, make sure you get a person’s attention before speaking.
Looking someone in the eye is a sign of respect. It is also a way to check that you have my attention before speaking. My eyes will quickly tell you when I feel confused or lost.
Despite popular belief, sound doesn’t travel through walls. Please do not speak from another room and stay close to my best ear for clarity.
Help Me Hear You Comfortably
Don’t shout, overpronounce or talk fast. Speaking louder distorts the sound and makes it harder to hear.
Use simple sentences and rephrase if someone doesn’t hear you.
Pause regularly to give them time to process and ask for more information.
Help Me Feel Safe in the Conversation Space
Choose a quiet, well-lit environment for conversation. Be aware of background noise and adjust accordingly.
Ensure only one person speaks at a time and avoid interruptions.
Help Me Keep My Place and Follow Along
Introduce the topic or context of the conversation and inform the listener of any changes to the topic during the discussion.
During the conversation, pauses allow them to process and ask clarifying questions.
Look for signs of confusion or misunderstanding, such as puzzled expressions or body language. Tactfully confirm their understanding by asking questions.
Let them repeat critical details, such as phone numbers or names, to ensure accuracy. Write down important information when necessary.
Help Me Feel Safe When I’m Struggling
Be patient, especially when someone is ill, anxious, or tired, as these factors can make understanding more difficult. Be flexible as you try different communication methods to determine what works best.
Help Me Feel Confident When You Call
Always introduce yourself. Don’t assume someone will recognise your voice and know who you are.
Call from a quiet environment, as background noise can drown out your voice.
Speak directly into the microphone and always provide context. If needed, rephrase what you’ve said.
Follow up with a written message to confirm essential details.
Ask them for their contact details, and send yours in writing. Accommodate them by talking to an intermediary if a person with hearing loss asks.
3 How Does Constant Overstimulation Affect Introverts Emotionally?
Sensitive introverts are intensely self-aware. When you feel the weight of fatigue and creeping brain fog, you know it is time to rest. You often feel it first in your neck and shoulders, but there are also emotional signs.
When I Feel Drained
Leaden weight on your ankle and cotton wool in your head. That is what physical and cognitive fatigue feels like. But overstimulation also causes emotional fatigue.
It feels like you are separated in a bubble, unable to reach others, and missing the connection that comes naturally to you.
When I Feel Lost
Do you feel sad like a Basset with his droopy ears? Who spells listlessness better than a sloth? These are signs of emotional overwhelm. When it spirals into depression, like quicksand, it won’t let go! Should you still not take note and rest, burnout will follow.
Toxic environments and relationships can make you feel powerless. It is as if you’re stuck in peak traffic – stagnant and unable to find solutions.
When you hide away like a scared dog expecting a kick, professional help becomes your only way out.
When I Feel Snappy
You may be familiar with the touch-me-not (kruidjie-roer-my-nie in Afrikaans). This plant folds its leaves when touched. They are the perfect picture of the irritability introverts feel when overwhelmed, barking at everyone for no reason, much like an overexcited Yorkie.
An emotional meltdown is like standing on the beach, watching a wave build and feeling an emotional tsunami rolling toward you. You know there is no escaping the feelings of those around you that you absorb so deeply. When it hits, all you can do is surrender, go with the flow, and take each breath as it comes.
When I Lose My Words
Sensory overwhelm causes cognitive overload, which affects the language centre of the brain. You enter survival mode and your brain reverts to more primal functions. Your thoughts scatter like school kids when the bell rings for a break, and you can’t rein them in an orderly format. Language becomes messy.
Words out of context. Changing word order. Slurring like you’re drunk.
Once, after a chaotic day, I told my best friend, I am too simulated to do any more people-ing today. Our team meeting was so intense, I felt metally overloaded afterwards. It is why I can’t engage in deep conservation right now, and would rather go home and best.
You know you have surpassed your best by time when your brain hits a blank and no words come to mind. It’s as if you have sprained your mind, and the only cure is rest.
4 How Does Hearing Loss Impact a Person’s Emotional Well-Being in Conversations?
I recently had an experience that highlighted how hearing loss affects a person’s emotional well-being during social interactions. Although this is an extreme situation, we experience these effects in varying degrees in different listening situations.
When we moved to Pretoria, I joined a small women’s cell group for support and connection. They quickly became my lifeline and supported me through many challenging situations.
Eventually, the group grew from about six to twelve people. Still, I stuck it out, showing up, making the best of it despite my hearing challenges. However, as an introvert who thrives on deep connections, I could sense that my relationships with the original group members were beginning to fray.
When I received my new hearing aids, I stopped attending for a while due to cognitive fatigue during the adjustment period.
When I felt ready, I attended the next meeting. I realised, once again, that things are shifting.
When I arrived, everything was busy as usual, with people chatting and enjoying coffee. With all the overlapping voices and movement, I couldn’t follow much of what was happening.
Then we sat down, and our leader asked, “Did everyone get a name?” That was the first moment I realised something had taken place that I completely missed.
Then the structure changed. We usually go around the table and share our struggles, feelings, or victories before we begin our prayer. That rhythm gives me context and helps me organise my thoughts.
On Saturday, we were asked to choose one central point to share. Before I could even settle on something, we went straight into praying without any sharing.
Before prayer started, I also heard that we wouldn’t be using the notebook anymore. The notebook was the one tool that helped me follow, because I could at least read the prayer requests.
When I asked what I should do if I can’t hear someone, the answers were basically, “They can repeat themselves,” or “I’ll tell you.” Unfortunately, that doesn’t help me. I don’t suddenly hear better the second time.
When the praying began, I tried my best, but I caught very little in that format. When some people repeat the exact same phrase, it becomes the only thing I hear. I could see who was praying, but I had no idea what they were praying about. I couldn’t follow the meaning, the focus, or the context.
By that point, I felt utterly lost. I wasn’t able to participate meaningfully, and I felt cut off from what was happening around me. That is why I broke down and cried at the end of the meeting, because the new format removed the only anchors that helped me feel included.
This experience illustrates how we experience various emotions in different listening situations.
The confusion arose when I realised I hadn’t received a name. Later, I discovered that they hadn’t pulled names that day, and I had misheard.
The stress of trying to follow along during prayer time without any context. It had all the usual challenges: people talking softer when they pray, looking down, and distance creating a barrier for lipreading.
Feeling ashamed for passing on my turn to pray due to emotional overwhelm.
I felt lost and unable to participate meaningfully, while around me, others were immersed in prayer, unaware of my struggle to connect.
And at the end, the dam wall broke with many years of silent misunderstanding spilling out in that moment.
It is time for us to break the silence surrounding this invisible impairment. We must tell it as it is – raw and honest – with all the messy emotions. Sometimes it means making a hard choice to leave when situations leave us exhausted. It is the only way we can experience emotional well-being despite our hearing loss challenges.
Stay tuned for more insights!
This article is part of an ongoing series exploring key questions about introversion and hearing loss. In the next post, I’ll answer the following questions:
- How Do Introverts Communicate in Group Settings or One-on-One Conversations?
- How Can People With Hearing Loss Adapt to Different Communication Environments?
- How Can Introverts Use Technology to Communicate More Comfortably (e.g., Texting, Social Media)?
- How Does Hearing Technology (e.g., Hearing Aids, Cochlear Implants) Enhance Communication?
Please be on the lookout for the next post in the series (every third week of the month), where I’ll answer another set of questions.
Curious about the rest of the series?
You can explore all the articles in 4 Questions & 4 Insights: Navigating Life as an Introvert with Hearing Loss
Quiet Words that Linger.
If you’d like more reflections like this, you’re warmly invited to subscribe—or drop a comment to share your thoughts. You can also browse the Silent Courage store for stories and tools created with care.
Leave a Reply